In his fictional autobiography, Judge Timothy Philpot discusses many real life events both outside and within his courtroom including descriptions of actual cases. Listed below are ten groups of disguised characters and clues about their actual identities.
1. “Dr. T” and Veronique
“Dr. T” is a Zambian man whose full name the judge had difficulty pronouncing. He is denounced in court by his first wife Veronique who “told everyone he had beaten her, cussed her and been unfaithful to her. “In Africa, she would have been thrown out with the trash…She got her child-support increased by proving that Dr. T. had not been forthcoming about all of his income. “Dr. T” and Veronique have a twelve-year-old daughter Vanna. Sassy ex-wife Veronique is empowered by the Judge to assert her rights “But what Veronique really wanted was an opportunity to stand up in front of fifty people and tell everyone what a lousy father and husband he was. Again.”
2. Mr. and Mrs. Garrison
A divorced devil-worshipping couple in their 60s, married for forty years who are bickering over silverware in the judge’s court. The judge remembers them leading incantations to Satan during Lexington’s pagan festival held outside the courthouse. Mrs. Garrison had been part of a “Pagans rally in front of the courthouse a year ago, complete with witches, warlocks and wiccans. Mrs. Garrison led the chants to worship Satan in a crowd that looked like rejects from a Grateful Dead concert.”
3. Bernard and Judy Bates
Bernard Bates is a wealthy catholic businessman described as an “X-rated sinner” who indulges in sexual debauchery with voluptuous girlfriends. Judy, his dope-smoking wife of 23 years finally seeks a divorce in the judge’s court, successfully committing perjury to obtain a restraining order against Bernard as leverage in a custody battle. They have two children: a 16-year-old daughter Melinda and a 13-year-old son who is flunking school. Bernard eventually counters by hiring “courthouse pit bull” attorney Kirk DeMoss.
4. Mr. & Mrs. Cranford.
The couple, both Fayette county police officers, are parents of a baby boy and are now divorcing each other after having left their former spouses to continue their adulterous affair.
Mr. Cranford is Seeking relief from a Domestic Violence Order that threatens his job with the Lexington police. The judge responds: ““Sir, you are actually one of the scariest men I have ever met. I don’t feel bad at all about you losing your job. Have a nice day,” which meant the hearing was over. Judge Z could smell the creeps, even when they wore suits and ties.”
Clues: Judge Philpot places great stock in his olfactory abilities to identify “creepy guys” regardless of evidence. See video: “Sniffing out the creepy guys” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mwXXXeSzMo&index=11&list=PLnhwrJWv0Gkd3cCsFwX8m0OIIeI8GH7l-
5. Mr. & Mrs. Hemlock
They are a couple seeking an uncontested divorce in Judge Z’s court which is granted when Mrs. Melanie Hemlock discomfits the judge by weeping. She and her husband J. Morton Hemlock have one child:
“The twelve-year-old son would bounce back and forth like a Ping-Pong ball, one week with dad and his latest girlfriend, and one week with a depressed, lonely, over-indulgent mother.”
Clues: Note that Judge Philpot places great stock in the redeeming power of weeping and tears in his court. See the video here: https://youtu.be/D-85wJeKl6M?list=PLnhwrJWv0Gkd3cCsFwX8m0OIIeI8GH7l-
6. Eleanor Day
Eleanor is a semi- retired ,renowned Lexington female divorce attorney who practices in the judge’s court. She is depicted in her seventies, has straight gray hair and has been married to her husband for forty of years. Book description:
“She was a legend. And the judge genuinely liked her. Nobody would say it, but she was over the hill. Yet many divorcing husbands still tried to hire her before their wife did. Smart men would pay her a thousand-dollar “consultation” fee just to stop her from being the wife’s lawyer. Eleanor knew how the game was played, and was well aware she was being paid to do nothing, like farmers paid to not plant beans, but she gladly took their money anyway and even doubled the fee when she could.”
Clues: This attorney gave Judge Philpot a glowing testimonial during his re-election campaign! The name is taken from one of the real life attorney’s children.
7. Mr. and Mrs. Jones
Mr. Jones is divorcing his wife to be with his girlfriend. Fortunately, “Mrs. Jones already had her eye on a divorced man at church.” They have two children but are fighting over basketball tickets and pet dogs that are whimsically named after Kentucky basketball celebrities.
“Mr. Jones would give up nearly everything to keep his girlfriend. They had been married for twenty-two years. He would keep his pension plan. She would keep the house and equity therein, which roughly equaled the pension plan. They would have joint custody, but their two children would mostly stay with Mom, who had given up her teaching career to stay at home. Dad would pay child support and maintenance for ten years and then she’d be on her own.”
Clues: This case has a searchable appeal opinion
8. Ned and Wilbur Napier
These Domestic Violence Court Litigants are identical twin brothers near their forties who are feuding over their deceased mother’s trailer. Wilbur request a No Contact Order against Ned which backfires when it is granted since the ban against firearms it prevents him from pursing his passion of deer hunting. Disorder breaks out in court and hilarity ensues.
9. Ben Keegan and Jackie Finley.
Ben is Jackie’s ex who has multiple girlfriends and drug problems. They are embroiled in raging time-sharing battles over their five-year-old daughter Emily. Jackie is admonished by the judge for confusing Emily by introducing her to Jackie’s live-in girlfriend.
10. Matt McConnell and Debby Lundie
Matt and Debby are litigants involved in a custody battle over their son, “a beautiful three-year-old boy”. Matt was initially attracted to Debby because she “’ Debby had a wild side, with the tattoos to prove it”. However, their relationship soured because ” she got pregnant and ruined everything by having a baby.” Debby’s family are Jehovah’s Witnesses